Transplanting Shakespeare’s texts to American high-schools can be a stroke of genius – as seen in 10 Things I Hate About You – but this ‘re-imagining’ of Twelfth Night is more tired than inspired. Viola (a gurning Amanda Bynes) wants to play soccer against the boys, so she disguises herself as her twin bro Sebastian (James Kirk) and turns up at his school. Before you can say “Tootsie”, Vi is falling for her hunky roomie Duke (Channing Tatum) while the object of his affections, Olivia (Laura Ramsey), falls for new ‘boy’ Sebastian. Intended as a showcase for TV moppet Bynes’ comedic dexterity, this turgid romp just highlights her shortcomings as she over-mugs, pratfalls and strives to raise snickers from a stillborn script. Add the obligatory dress-up montage and She’s The Man stinks likes a sweaty footie kit. Red card.