There’s a good reason that you didn’t notice the PS2 release of Torrente 3: The Protector earlier this year – it’s a steaming pile of dog dump. However, after a catalogue of bizarre circumstances led us to play the game recently, we discovered that it has some of the filthiest mini-games ever to soil gaming’s undergarments. We’re talking about a turbulent tricolour of toilet-based trials – defecation, urination and, yes, masturbation. A movie tie-in based on the adventures of the politically incorrect Detective Torrente (it was a comedy box-office smash in Spain, no less), the game gives players the chance to retire to a toilet where they can indulge in a spot of solitary salami slapping while perusing the pages of a grumble publication. Inevitable rhythmic jostling of the analog stick ensues. Once you’vefrisked the one-eyed milkman, you can follow it up by having a dump or taking a tinkle. If you really want to, you can see all these filthy mini-games in action by watching the movie below. Be warned that the movie contains, er, everything we’ve just mentioned. And some swearing.